Posts in Heavy Struggles
Made-up Identity | What Is True Beauty?

SO much in our lives is identity based. We determine who we are based on any number of things - the clothes we wear, the makeup on our faces, the friends we have, where we live, what we do, and even sometimes our relationship statuses. But what if we did something different? What if we determined our identities - determined our WORTH - based on what the God of the universe says about us?


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When Heartache is All Too Real

Heartache. It hits at unexpected times, and one can ever be prepared for it. No matter what preparation one attempts, the pain, when it accrues, is always a shock. Though you might not be enveloped in it at this moment, at one time or another, you will have pain. Sadly, it is a fact that we shall have to face. Some of us will receive that dreaded phone call, the one that makes your heart stop and your palms sweat. Others of us will be found sitting in white walled doctor's offices attempting to comprehend what life will be like with the diagnosis.

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When You Don't Feel Qualified

Sometimes I feel I’ve lost my voice. Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to say, no encouragement to give—like I’m in a stuck place and can’t free myself, let alone help someone else find their way. And I wonder why God has called me to this: to be a writer, encourager, empathizer, counselor. To be a counselor, you must be wise and strong and patient. I think I am these things, but then I watch my interactions with people around me, and I cringe. I am selectively selfless—kind to those I want to be kind to, nice to those who are nice to me.

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When You Feel Abandoned by God

There is a reason why I don’t talk about God very much when I talk about mental illness. I think it’s because I’ve felt its sting myself. On hard days—days where panic rose in surges like a loose wire inside my chest, where I felt as though something inside my head had caved in and all the lights had gone out—I would try to express this struggle, try to ask for help.My well-meaning fellow believers would not quite understand what it felt like to spend my days holding darkness at bay so that I could get dressed, do my work, go out in public and smile and make meaningless conversation. Often they would hear this side of me, a side they could not quite connect with, the healthy-looking girl in front of them, and they would try to heal an unfamiliar ache with something familiar to them...

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How I Faced My Biggest Bully

I met this girl many years ago, although I don’t really remember how or when she became such a huge influence in my life. Nonetheless, here we are. She’s ruthless, cold-blooded, and extremely detrimental. She’s insulting and, frankly, she’s just annoying, and I can’t seem to get her words out of my head. I know I should just let her comments roll off my back, but they seem to come with a weight that I cannot carry on my own. She and I grew up together. In fact, we used to be really great friends. We’ve been through everything together. She used to give me great advice and comfort me when things weren’t going the way they should. She never left my side. We kept each other’s secrets and shared each other’s stories. Our conversations would go on for hours on end, causing many sleepless nights. She adored me.

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An Anxious Heart Breeds Brokenness

My mood is so easily affected by the weather.If it’s dark and gloomy, my spirit knows it and sends me into a tired and sulky state. It takes everything in me to put a smile on my face and get out of bed because I’m not happy. I’m sad. Rainy and gloomy weather makes me sad. How am I supposed to be energetic and happy when it looks like the end of the world outside?

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Freedom From Addiction: Personal Testimony

I have been trapped by it for 8 years of my life, and if I'm going to be completely honest here, it’s been a real struggle. I mean, of course it is, every sin is. But for me, it’s really, really hard. There have been moments when my youth pastor asked the question, "What is your biggest sin?" and the word porn pops into my head without a second thought. There are moments when I doubt God is working in my life to help me overcome it. Moments when I just want to scream out and tell the whole world. Which I guess is what I am doing now...

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